Tired of notifications, sinister requests and phony friends? Well I’ve got the solution for ya! Press delete, deactivate or whatever Zuckerburg has designated to be the get me out of here option.
Be warned my people it won’t be easy. Brace yourself for sleepless nights as you moan and groan over what you think your friends are thinking. Don’t be moved by the urge to investigate Farmville livestock, do not be caught by the epic troll pages which you visited religiously as a means of safe passage to dream land. *falling asleep infront of the television seems overrated these days*
Last but certainly not least be prepared for free counseling sessions courtesy of your “friends”. Sessions will include queries into your e-personally life. “Did you take the big step because he changed his status to single?”
In spite of all of this don’t be afraid to take back control of what was your private life, but remember many have made the decision and wound up in rehab. Even more sad, countless ran back to the social life threatening drug.
In fact many of you are logging on for your daily dose as you read this.